2 - Rihanna
New York
Billboard Executives have forced me into doing this interview for you. So, we better get this shit started, so I can leave.
Hello Hoopz. How are you?
Rihanna
Well hello, I’m fine, how about you?
New York
I'm the captain. I'm the head bitch in charge!
Rihanna
Well alrighty then…
New York
But today we're here (for some reason) to talk about you. Tell me what's going on with your music right now!
Rihanna
My music is going well! Just released both my new album and single: Showtime. Figuring out what I’m doing with future singles and such.
New York
I see, I see. …Anyway, tell us more about your album. How would you describe it?
Rihanna
It’s a pop album. The first five tracks are pop and include dance/electronic tones. It becomes a bit tropical in the middle and there is a bit of rap between the Future feature on track 6 and my rapping on TRACK 7. The outlier of the album is definitely To Be Honest (Drunk) which keeps aline to r&b/rap yet contains some of P!nk’s rock elements. Then the first part of track 9, Ecstasy Thoughts is a bit trippy, but it fades to soul and acoustic for Just Sail Away and the final three songs. But overall it’s a pop and dance record for the most part.
New York
Thankfully I haven't had the displeasure of hearing it yet. Moving on… it appears you're up against some stiff competition this week; Adam Levine, Shawn Mendes and Tori Amos have all released albums. Are you worried at all?
Rihanna
Adam Levine released an album? I wasn’t aware of that to be honest.
New York
I wish I could say the same…
Rihanna
Shawn Mendes is new to the scene so I’m not sure how he will do, in regards of the charts, I’m unsure. He seems to be doing well so I won’t be looking forward to a big surprise debut. Florence and the Machine also released an album although I don’t know if she’s had big commercial success or not. She seems to be an indie artist. And I am not concerned about Adam Levine.
New York
So, in short, you feel superior to the others? Gotcha!
Tell me more about your relationship with Adam. He played your dumb ass for a fool yesterday. What have you got to say to him? Let it all out.
Rihanna
I mean, I wish he had let me in on it instead of dragging it along, that he was never gonna release a remix. I had my hopes up and felt rather disappointed because, from a business perspective, it directly affected me as well. But Adam has never been into chart success, so I guess if he doesn’t care for the longevity of his hits then it’s fine with me. I mean, Friends was the biggest hit from album and we all know why. But alas, I have a lot of singles and collaborations coming this season so I’m looking forward to the future.
New York
Woah, you mad, huh?
Well, let's talk about that future. Specifically, this weekend. What are you planning to do for your challenge this week?
Rihanna
Well, I will be performing at Label Fest but my challenge will always include a little surprise or something extra. Kesha said she was coming hard this season, whether she actually does or not is anybody’s guess, but I gotta prepare to try my hardest.
New York
Urgh another performance I have to quietly sit through without clawing my eyes out…
Rihanna
It’s gonna be great sweetie!
New York
Do I look like I give a fuck?
Anyway. Billboard have told me that many of your gay fans have sent in some questions for you. I'll shoot them at you rapid-fire.
Rihanna
Yay!
New York
"@PI_Rihanna sis, when are you gonna step your game up? That fat cunt @PI_Xtina keeps gaining a chart lead over your ass!"
Rihanna
I’m trying my best and tweeting and streaming as much as I can. I think I’m doing good in comparison to others. Just gotta keep my promo game on 24/7.
New York
"@PI_Rihanna bitch, when are you gonna release To Be Honest (Drunk) as a single? Girl, issa #1."
Rihanna
Issa bop. I have some singles that I wanna release first. I may or may not ask my fans what they want directly. I gotta talk to P!nk about what songs she think would do better. Worst case scenario it’s coming at the end of the season.
New York
"#KarenAsks @PI_Rihanna love, are we going on holiday together again this year?"
Rihanna
We can always go away from here together!
New York
Well, that's all we have time for today. I wanna thank you Rihanna for the interview (on Billboard's behalf, not mine). Hopefully your life will be great. If it's not, too damn bad! BYE!
Urgh I need a fucking drink!