9 - Selena Gomez
New York
Billboard have informed me that after meeting with that old woman, Erika, I now have to talk to a 10 year old. This day could not get any worse.
Hello Krazy, how are you?
Selena Gomez
Hello darling. I am doing really well, just got back home from a praying session. Also, 10 years old? This is Selena, not Perrie. I am sorry for any misinformation.
New York
Oh that's nice. What were you praying for? A better boyfriend? A career? Someone to believe in your lies?
Selena Gomez
No. I was praying for my kidnapper to get what they deserve after they get caught by the police. I am one-hundred percent sure God Almighty will help me in this journey, and I need to thank him constantly for that.
New York
I thank you for the acknowledgement, but I don't help charity cases.
Let's talk about your music. What the hell were you thinking?
Selena Gomez
My music is everything I wanted it to be; it's fun, it's relatable, it does not have a washed up botox-filled pop star as a feature. From what I understood, my fans already love the new, available now, song, ‘Feelings (Into Your Lies, featuring Kehlani - and that makes me the happiest. Music not the bling!
New York
Do you feel into your own lies, Selena?
Selena Gomez
What lies sister? Did Kylie forget her crack-filled purse at your house?
New York
You know the ones. I'm sure you know where the purse is too, considering your recent claims.
Selena Gomez
"The lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy." (Proverbs, 12:22). That's all I'll say about your stupid accusations.
New York
Enough about that. Tell us, what are you planning to do for your week 1 challenge? Will you be performing at the label fest, or doing a Vlog, or meeting with a label executive, or - preferably - retiring?
Selena Gomez
For the first challenge, I will see whether I will be doing a vlog or send the whole performance! I am really excited about it and I can't wait for my dear fans to see it.
New York
I'm sure they can wait. There aren't many of them.
Selena Gomez
For your information, my inbox has been flooded with messages from my dear Selegendenators asking me whether I was okay or not after my kidnapping accident. So stop being such a Christina Aguilera and come back to reality.
New York
Perhaps you could please them in another way. Do you have any upcoming collaborations planned?
Selena Gomez
Yes, I am excited to reveal that I have a collaboration in the works with a legend. It will perhaps be released next week or the week after that one… or the week after that one!
New York
How decisive! Speaking of decisions, what made you choose to grace the general public with the nauseating screeching you possess, by returning to music?
Selena Gomez
It was my traumatic experience that gave me the motivation to return! But seeing how most of the big acts are just aggressive cringe-worthy bitter old ladies who know each other and probably have a groupchat filled with cat pictures and knitting tutorials, I feel ready to take a break after I release my album, ‘Wanderlust’, coming very soon.
New York
You should. I would love to wrap this interview up right now, but Billboard have requested that we play a game first.
Selena Gomez
If it’s ‘Fuck Marry Kill’, kill them all except for Troye, Adam and Perrie.
New York
It's not, actually. But I wish I could kill them all too! Here's how it works; I will mention one of your fellow artists; and you tell me the first thing that comes to mind about them! Now, assuming you're not as stupid as you look, this shouldn't be too hard. Are you ready?
Selena Gomez
Yes, bring it on!
New York
Demi Lovato.
Selena Gomez
Human Being.
New York
Kylie Minogue.
Selena Gomez
Forehead.
New York
Rihanna.
Selena Gomez
The same as Kylie.
New York
Christina Aguilera.
Selena Gomez
Aspiring Young Woman!
New York
Erika Jayne.
Selena Gomez
Botox.
New York
Perrie Edwards.
Selena Gomez
Talented!
New York
Finally; Selena Gomez.
Selena Gomez
‘Feelings (Into Your Lies)’ featuring Kehlani is out now!
New York
You need all the promotion you get, I suppose. But at least that's what this interview is for! It's also for my pay cheque.
Well, Selena, we're out of time for today. I - unfortunately - have to thank you for coming to Billboard for your interview. I wish you, an ounce of luck in charting high. Maybe you can purchase some vocal lessons afterwards!
Selena Gomez
I will purchase them! I heard it's Taylor's birthday really soon and I want my friend to get the best gift possible!
New York
Don't be too generous! Some gifts are best kept to yourself sweetie.
Selena Gomez
Ok, nice talking with you. God bless you.
New York
This is New York signing out. BYE!