When Our Ship Comes In
“When our ship comes in, we’ll just sail away” – a phrase used by many-a-country-star to describe various events in one’s life; from major to minor. Some simply sail away, but others take the steer in their hands and forge their own path, full speed ahead. Some experience a tail-wind; boosting them forward, while others get caught in a storm, fall overboard or worse, become ‘Shipwrecked’.
Luckily for our number-one artist this week, she didn’t have much to worry about. Taking the early lead, RCA executive, P!nk, debuts atop both major charts with hit single, ‘Don’t Stay Out (Too Late)’ and her fourth studio album, ‘Shipwrecked’. P!nk has yet to reveal details about her newest album to her fans at large – instead, choosing to tweet about her sworn-sister (Katy Perry) and her pre-retirement discography. P!nk exclusively revealed to us that a fan edition of ‘Shipwrecked’ is on the horizon, with a remix of ‘Don’t Stay Out’ forecast for tomorrow!
As the Ashley McBryde lyric goes, “This boat ain’t gonna rock itself”, we learn that sometimes the only person that can help you is yourself… and a Romanian label-created girl group band no one else had heard of before. There can be no other example that the current representative for Interscope Records; Lana Del Rey. While most would tweet about their own music releases, Rey promoted her label-head, Lady Gaga, instead – and in return, Gaga’s most dedicated fans showcased their support for Rey on the iTunes Store. Re-issuing her number-nine-peaking album, ‘HOLLYWEIRD’, she moves up seven spots on the Top Albums Chart (#2); whilst matching that position with the single release of the same name on the Hot Singles Chart. On a totally unrelated note, G Girls’ member, Alexandra Stan, released her fourth studio album, ‘Mami’, on April 25th. We imagine Rey will be on the next flight to Tokyo to purchase this Japan-exclusive release, for personal reasons.
Onto the final record label; Republic Records, ran by Christina Aguilera. After a bumpy ride to the top ten with Rihanna-remix, ‘Mirrors’, Aguilera released the final single from ‘Blonde’; ‘Bullets’ (#4) featuring Shawn Mendes. With all early predictions estimating a position in the lower-half of the top ten, Aguilera soared above expectations with a last-minute streaming gain. We wonder – had Aguilera chosen to tweet about her sworn enemy, Marina Diamandis, in addition to herself; would she have charted higher? Perhaps, we’ll find out next week; as Aguilera’s next stolen-song is ‘Give You My Body’, out now. We preferred ‘Give You My Boobs’, but whatever; at least they’re part of her body – Troye Sivan can only wish.
Perrie Edwards; the centrepiece of feuds everywhere, even while not directly involved. How does she always seem to attract the attention of others? Is P!nk punishing her for not eating Broccoli? We sent Karen Smith to P!nk’s house for details. Unfortunately, she believed P!nk’s daughter – Willow – to be P!nk herself, and ended up helping Willow on her weather-forecasting homework. Smith has still not checked in with us or made a report on this matter. However, this week, Edwards found herself in an altercation with the music industry’s marked bed post; Adam Levine, accusing him of advising his fans not to purchase their collaboration, ‘Tastes Like Bubblegum’ (#11). She states that Levine was desperate for success, as ‘Love Just Ain’t For Me’ outshines its earlier predictions, charting within the top-ten (#10). Meanwhile, Edwards’s new single, ‘X2Y’, solidifies itself at the number-three spot this week.
From the RCA feud to the Interscope frenemies; the tribesmen – Kesha and Troye Sivan. Early contenders for #1 records this week, both rapidly fell by the way-side. Kesha’s newest single, ‘Free Falling’ is a perfect descriptor of these artist’s releases over the past chart-week, with the Rihanna-feature finally landing at the number-eight position. Meanwhile, Sivan’s single, ‘Lights in Our Way’ finds itself at number-seven. Perhaps Kesha – finally – isn’t in your way, but the top six certainly are. Aw. And even when one of them (Rihanna)… took a vacation this week? Even with a complete lack of fucks, Rihanna’s new track, ‘To Be Honest (Drunk)’, smashes the number-five spot. ‘To Be Honest’, for both Sivan and Kesha, that’s nothing short of embarrassing.
Embarrassing… now that diverts us to some of the less successful artists within the industry! Throughout all his attempts, dreams and hopes, Shawn Mendes’s ‘Shout It Out’ remix falls at the last hurdle, charting at a lower-than-expected number-nine spot. But that’s nothing compared to Erika Jayne, who spent her week locked inside the set of Aqua’s 1997 music video for ‘Barbie Girl’, struggles to compare, with a number-fifteen début for new single, ‘Barbie’. Of course, we can’t forget Selena Gomez. Earlier, she announced the re-issue of ‘Wanderlust’ titled ‘When the Devil Called My Name, I Said Yes'. Unfortunately for Selenators everywhere (and fortunately for everyone else), the supposed release date came and went without a release. Here’s a new title for it; 'When Selena Gomez Announced This Album, Everyone Said No'. Finally, the return of Taylor Swift included… one tweet regarding her court history and… nothing else. Embarrassing!