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Better Together: A Review of Season 8a


(Number-Ones in Season 8a)

Better Together; a simple phrase. Kinda like the other one; "two heads are better than one" - something which I'm sure T.O.P would tell you after an after-midnight encounter with Troye Sivan and Charlie Puth. Ultimately, it does what it says on the tin; it means that the more people you have in your group, the higher chance of success you have - you can all thrive together instead of tearing each other down (Lana Del Rey is shook). And these collective groups are what we refer to as Record Labels. Avid Billboard fan, Karen the Skinny, asked us last night who we consider to be the Winners and Losers of this season. Two great ideas for a charticle; label-based and winners vs losers. But what do you do when you have two great ideas? We're gonna take a page out of Christina Aguileras's book - combining the two ideas and making the end result an utter disaster. Yes!

CAPITOL RECORDS

Carrie Underwood (Winner)

You probably thought we'd begin this article with the label executive, Katy Perry. Well, we'll get to her eventually but first, let's talk about Underwood. Starting this season off, Underwood scraped a top-ten single ('Think Again' - #10, #166 ATC) and followed it up with the barely top 20 track, 'Water Ride' (#19, #341 ATC). That's not what you'd call winning, is it? Underwood's original era paled in comparison to her tribute one... until the album launched. Underwood's 'Spring Break' pulls out a surprising hot-shot debut at the number-one spot on this week's Top Albums Chart, as third single, 'If You Don't Like Me' launches in at the number-two spot on the Hot Singles Chart. Slow and steady wins the race after all.

Meghan Trainor (Loser)

The opposite of Underwood, Meghan Trainor started this season off with a top-ten hit ('Cash Me Out' - #9, #386 ATC) which she later forgot to remix resulting in it dropping off the charts faster than Troye Sivan's balls (has it even happened yet?). It all went down-hill from there; Trainor's second studio-album, 'Groceries' (#6, #93 ATC), missed the top-five and later failed to scan Gold - even after including a new version of former #1 'All Night Long', just for that one purpose. 'Mighty Lover' (#21, #499 ATC)... we're just not going to talk about it, ok?

Kacey Musgraves & Madonna (Losers)

I... where do we even start? How about the one good thing about this whole scenario; Madonna finally died and left us in peace. Yeah that... oh wait no, sorry. Allegedly the one good thing is she scored her biggest hit as a solo artist (albeit for a song from last season, 'Sea Green Eyes'). So... she's still alive then? Sad. Something else sad is the lack of support for her new era; as lead single 'Contact Sports' (#23, #496 ATC) flopped beyond belief... even for her standards! And, as for Kacey Musgraves... she 'Buckled Up' (#15, #413 ATC) and rode straight out of this town... never to be seen again (until that one moment where she tooted and said she was gonna be more active and then disappeared again).

Katy Perry (Winner)

Was there any doubt? A number-one single, a number-one album and a number-one tour. Perry started this year off with her first release in two years; a double-disc collection of unreleased material ('Golden Age/Utopia', #5, #33 ATC). While this collection was Perry's first to miss the top-two, it was also Perry's fourth Platinum record. But that's nothing compared to what came next; the Aladdin (#1, #55 ATC) soundtrack looks ready to compete with Perry's biggest album to date ('Spellbound'). 'Aladdin' spawned two singles; 'Love Comes' (#3, #179 ATC) and 'A Whole New World' (#145 ATC); Perry's fourteenth number-one hit.

RCA RECORDS

P!nk (Winner)

The monumental era of 'Shipwrecked' is a long time gone, although still exists in Rihanna's nightmares. However, it had somewhat seemed that P!nk's success disappeared with it. Sure, she had a number-one single and album last era but overall, it was nothing like 'Shipwrecked'. Of course, that's a once-in-a-lifetime era, but to go from a Diamond single to songs not even scanning single isn't the softest fall from grace ever. Fortunately for P!nk, her two singles this season ('Like That' - #8, #102 ATC & 'You Know It's Over' - #1, #100 ATC) have become her most successful since 'Delicious'. And while 'Rockstar' (#4, #68 ATC) becomes her lowest-peaking album, it sits higher on this week's chart than the three albums that blocked it. Karma keeps receipts, after all.

Kylie Minogue & Tove Lo (Losers)

Ha. These two truly represent their title of Loser; with an uppercase L (and honestly, an uppercase o, s, e and r as well). Minogue made the fatal mistake of scheduling her releases too far in advance, forgetting to cancel them before the deadline was up. Therefore 'Cupid Doesn't Warn' (#20, #446 ATC) and 'Renaissance' (#13, #142 ATC) charted without any promotion, streams or sales. It's a wonder they charted at all. Meanwhile, someone who didn't chart is Tove Lo; she just... did nothing. At all.

Gwen Stefani (Winner)

Ok, hear us out. Stefani's '1999' era may not be the pinnacle of any debut era ever. Of course, there was no #1 album, nor any top #5 single. However, what she did show was potential (if she moves into the 21st century). Stefani did manage to sell a successful tour and to land herself at the #2 spot on the Top Albums Chart with '1999' (#100). The era spawned four singles; 'Ok, And?' (#8, #330 ATC), 'Sit Down, Shut Up' (#17, #313 ATC), 'Kiss Me More' (#14, #338 AC), and 'D.U.M.B' (#6, #311 ATC). However, it seems that Party Monster Management suffers from the same symptoms as when they first signed Rihanna; a lack of remixes. We believe that with a remix, all four of these singles would have scanned Gold. At least, 'D.U.M.B' seems to (finally) be on the right track. Let's hope Stefani's management also follows their new hit single down this path.

REPUBLIC RECORDS

Christina Aguilera (Winner)

Many of Republic Records's artists have a problem this season; in some regards, they seem to be Winners, and in others, they lose hard. And that applies to their executive, Christina Aguilera, also. But it's the overall distinction that matters. And we believe that Aguilera most certainly classes as a winner this season; even if only for one thing - her first number-one album. When you look at Aguilera's singles; 'Kiss On My...' (#7, #247 ATC) - the single that broke a 19 releases-long certification streak - 'Afterhours' (#3, #152 ATC), 'Tears of Happiness' (#3, #223 ATC), 'Lead Me Into the Light' (#9, #432 ATC), and 'Imagination' (#8), they don't look like the stats of a winner. But where Aguilera shines (except from her smile while standing in the queue at KFC) is the albums chart. Aguilera scored another platinum record with 'Unfinished Business' (#2, #26 ATC) and her very first number-one album 'Midnight Wonderland' (#51 ATC). Hopefully next season, she'll score her very first correctly-spelled number-one album.

Iggy Azalea (Winner)

Iggy Azalea has had a turbulent season. Starting the season off with a smash hit and a hit album, Azalea faltered at the mid-way point and lived up to her own musical persona; a struggle. Still, we class her as a winner for one reason - the first solo number-one single for Royalty Management (and the most successful from this season so far). Her stats this season are as follows: 'best life' (#1, #50 ATC), 'trust your struggle' (#4, #384 ATC), 'shots fired' (#23, #562 ATC) and her album; 'down under' (#3, #61 ATC). We hope the little Australian takes an English class prior to the next season. First lesson; capital letters.

Erika Jayne & Marina (Losers)

Royalty Management and Habits Management had mega success this season with both Azalea and Aguilera, but artists who were less fortunate were Legacy Artists; Erika Jayne and Marina. Marina ended up with a gold certificate and not much else. Meanwhile, Jayne claimed she was a 'Goddess'; a true 'Queen B' moment (if 'B' stands for 'Bitch, who are you?'). Their stats this season are: Jayne - 'Cougar' (#12, #454 ATC)', 'Legacy Artist' (#18, #436 ATC), 'Bow Down to a Goddess' [EP] (#13, #141 ATC); Marina - 'Freya' (#6, #340 ATC), 'Nine Worlds' (#11, #399 ATC), 'Yggdrasil' (#21) and the album, 'Mythologies' (#4, #77 ATC).

Amelia Lily & Halsey (Losers)

Moving from the industry veterans to the newborns... or maybe, based on their careers, the abortions. Neither Lily or Halsey took off. Sharing a grand total of zero top-ten singles as lead and one album that just scraped the top-ten on the albums chart, these two might just be the biggest losers of this season for the fact they actually tried. Their stats are; Lily - 'Pink Bubbles' (#16, #225 ATC), 'Crystal Ball' (#14) and the album, 'Spotlight' (#10), and Halsey - 'Running' (#17, #387 ATC), 'On My Mind (#13, #409 ATC).

The Weeknd (Loser)

From a winner to a loser. Sure, he's not a loser in the same way as most of the losers here; he's a special case... but is that really a good thing? While we were shocked to find this out, The Weeknd actually had a hit era last year - three platinum singles and a platinum album. We don't know who he sucked off to get them but apparently it happened. Unfortunately for The Weeknd, the payola ran out this year, as it looks like neither 'Lovelost' (#2, #99 ATC), 'Lovisa' (#6, #410 ATC) or the 'Acid Dreams' EP (#5, #101 ATC) will ever scan platinum.

Rihanna (Winner)

Perhaps the most consistent winner of all time, Rihanna wins once-more. Sure, she's not indestructible and has the occasional mis-step like the second half of the 'On the Other Side' era; 'Easy On Me' (#12, #426 ATC), 'Permitame' (#10) and the 'Bummer Summer' EP (#7) - her lowest charting album ever. But alongside those follies, Rihanna scores three number-ones in one season; 'Ain't No Rush' [Single] (#86 ATC), 'On the Other Side' [Album] (#44 ATC) and the 'Strawberry Kisses' EP (#48 ATC).

ATLANTIC RECORDS

Troye Sivan (Versatile, lol)

Ok so... Troye Sivan. In some regards, he's both a Winner and a Loser this season. Areas where he won include; a platinum single with 'Fire in the Hole' (#3, #51 ATC), being given a free number-one single by P!nk and getting to bottom for T.O.P. Areas where he lost include; him literally losing power, his label not having a single number-one, 'afterlife' becoming his worst-performing album to date (#3, #46 ATC) and his anti-Katy payola money failing to make an impact in any way, shape or form. His other stats include: 'Truth or Dare' (#7, #207 ATC) and 'Like a Moon in the Water' (#9). The battle between Sivan and Perry over whose top-10 streak will be broken first continues for another season!

Adam Levine & Taylor Swift (Losers)

Have we been here before? I swear we've been here before..? Shiver Management and Quill Management? We HAVE been here before? Well, just like Madonna, Adam is sadly not dead - although his career most certainly is. And Taylor Swift's only achievement this season is ruining Perrie Edwards's top-10 streak with 'XOXO' (#18, #411 ATC). Oh, and she also released a flop album ('Defying Gravity' - #7, #119 ATC)... whatever. She doesn't need gravity to bring her flat ass down.

Karen Smith & New York (Winners)

We can hear the uppercase toots and several combinations of "bitch", "fuck you", "HBIC" and "hahahaha" from here. But it's true. While the odds were stacked against them, Smith and Pollard each managed another gold single with 'The Winner Takes It All' (#16, #196 ATC) and a feature on P!nk's 'Like That' respectively. We asked both to comment on their success; Smith says that she doesn't know what any of this means but says to look forward to her next duet album with the Queen of England, meanwhile Pollard states that she can't wait to attend Lana Del Rey's meet & greet because she has a gift for her; a shoe.

UNIVERSAL RECORDS

Ariana Grande & Kesha (Winners)

Ariana Grande and Kesha have a lot in common. Two transracial legacy artists, Kesha and Grande made comebacks this year - with a top-five single each - and came out a winner... yes just one winner. They weren't that successful to get their own separate spots, so we're just combining them. It's not like anyone cares about them in 2019 anyway. Their stats are: Grande - 'Dance for You' (#4, #188 ATC), 'Magic' (#12); Kesha - 'Juicy' (#2, #226 ATC), 'The Singles... In Orbit' (#5, #105 ATC).

Charlie Puth & Sunmi (Losers)

Well... uh. We actually don't know very much about either of these two artists. Except from the rumors going around that Charlie Puth and Sunmi are the new Troye Sivan and Namie Amuro... whatever that's supposed to mean. All we know is they're both losers. That's all. Their alleged stats: Puth - 'Wanna Ride' (#13, #465 ATC), and album, 'Erotic Wonderland' (#18, #145 ATC); Sunmi - 'new ground' (#11, #289 ATC), 'all systems ready' (#13) and the totally-not-Shakira-tribute album, 'sale el sol' (#9, #111 ATC).

Hyuna & T.O.P. (Winners)

Two unexpected winners here. Who ever heard of a K-Pop star (they... are K-Pop, right???) being successful in #PopIndustry. Certainly not Sunmi. Hyuna started the season off fantastically well with hit features coming in left and right and a number-two song of her own ('Hyunapatra; #269 ATC). Unfortunately, Hyuna disappeared from the industry after that so her single remains uncertified, but we award her winner-status for the chart-breakthrough alone. However... maybe she's not gone after all? Hm yes. I look into my crystal ball (not Amelia Lily's $2 knock-off), and I see blue; wasn't that the title of Kesha's one-time EP? There's only one solution; like Kesha and The Weeknd before, Hyuna has transitioned into new artist T.O.P; a breakthrough in not only gender studies, but also the charts - as T.O.P scores a top-five single, 'FAT & FAMOUS' (#5, #287 ATC), and a top-three album, 'GLUTTONY.' (#3, #90 ATC). Apparently, T.O.P. believes that being a male means you have to type exclusively in uppercase. I think New York could tell you that it certainly doesn't... wait...

INTERSCOPE RECORDS

Lana Del Rey (Winner)

Lana Del Rey has never really won. And the same applies here. No matter what she does, she'll always be tainted by a legacy of demo releases, being a budget Lady Gaga and just generally being a lazy bitch. What's sad here is that 'St. Tropez' (#5, #77 ATC) becomes Rey's second platinum-song as a lead artist, but follow-up single 'Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know' (#2, #263 ATC) and parent album 'NEW WORLD COMING' (#2, #92 ATC) look unlikely to scan gold. So... where did she win then? Well - for the third consecutive part-season - she won on the Metacritic albums chart; where she scored everyone else lower than her own album. As a wise woman once said; "Always win. And if you can't win, cheat."

Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Perrie Edwards & Rita Ora (Losers)

Ha. Ha. Ha. Gaga. Three laughable flops who did nothing. And one laughable flop who also did nothing but in some regards became the biggest loser of them all. Lady Gaga now veers further away from the most-number singles of all-time record, not only as Katy Perry (14) pushes further ahead, but also as Troye Sivan ties her for second place (11) and Rihanna lights a 'Fire in the Hole' in third (10).

Justin Timberlake (Versatile, also lol)

Industry veteran, Justin Timberlake returns to the industry after a long hiatus. Trying (and failing) to make a 'Comeback' (#21, #393 ATC); Timberlake released three follow-up tracks; 'New Dawn' (#14, #364 ATC), 'More Issues than Vogue' (#13, #316 ATC) and 'Freak of Nature' (#26) alongside his newest collection, 'Freak of Nature' (#7, #115 ATC). Originally, we had Timberlake listed as a loser. However, upon checking his database, he's always been a loser! But in some regards, that might still make him a winner; 'Freak of Nature' currently sits as his third-best performing album and 'More Issues than Vogue', while not a guarantee, just might become Timberlake's third certification as lead artist (and first since 2014's Season Two) if he returns next season. It should also be noted that Timberlake has never won a season of #PopIndustry, but as he's one of the few who sent more than one entry, is it possible this story has one final twist?

Normani (Winner)

The number-one breakout star of this season. It's undeniable. Not only is 'Black Girl Magic' currently the third biggest hit of the current season (and likely to take first-place in its final week if Normani joins us again next season - although, it might not keep that placement), Normani's self-titled album (#3, #88 ATC) places high on the charts and Metacritic alike - and it's still currently without a re-issue! Oh... and one more thing... Normani's sophomore single, 'Ultraviolet' tops the Hot Singles Chart for the final chart week of the current season. Congratluations.

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